In the not-so-distant realm of competitive cycling, where every sinew and synapse of the human body is pushed to its ultimate capacity in pursuit of some glorious and ephemeral triumph, one would expect a level of order and meticulous planning akin to that of a NASA mission. However, at the Etoile de Bessèges, an event which—let’s be honest—most of us probably hadn’t marked on our calendars as a must-watch, things took a turn for the surreal in a way that would make even Kafka raise an eyebrow.
Early on stage 3, as the racers peddled through the French countryside with a mixture of grim determination and perhaps a whiff of existential dread, the race was abruptly transformed into a nightmarish scenario. Not unlike a particularly chaotic episode of “Wacky Races” or, if you’re less charitably inclined, the world’s least entertaining demolition derby. The culprit? A series of public vehicles, presumably lost or driven by individuals with an unsettlingly cavalier attitude towards high-speed bicycle races, had inexplicably found their way onto the course.
Soudal-QuickStep, Red Bull-Bora-Hansgrohe, Decathlon AG2R La Mondiale, EF Education-EasyPost, and Uno-X Mobility all came to the seemingly unanimous conclusion that participating in a vehicular obstacle course was not within their remit. Thus, they chose to abandon the race, much like how one might choose to abandon a sinking ship or a particularly unappetizing meal.
Meanwhile, Ineos Grenadiers, typically paragons of British stoicism and reserve, also opted out, announcing that, “The safety of our riders and staff is of paramount importance.” This, of course, is corporate-speak for, “We’re not particularly interested in participating in a live-action remake of ‘Mad Max.’”
The whole scenario was reminiscent of a hastily organized school field trip, with riders huddled together, negotiating with UCI commissaires who were presumably trying to recall their training manual’s chapter on “Handling Sudden Invasions of Public Traffic.” Soudal-QuickStep’s statement, “Following multiple incidents of public vehicles entering the race course, our riders, together with other teams, have decided not to complete today’s stage at #EDB25,” could be seen as a masterclass in diplomatic understatement. In layman’s terms: “We’d prefer not to be mowed down by an errant Peugeot, thank you very much.”
EF Education-EasyPost chimed in, echoing concerns about “the presence of moving vehicles on the race course.” It was a sentiment punctuated by the unfortunate incident involving Maxim Van Gils (Red Bull-Bora-Hansgrohe), whose untimely crash only served to underscore the absurdity of the situation. It’s worth noting, for posterity’s sake, that racing bicycles in close quarters with automobiles tends to end poorly.
Late on Friday, in a somewhat predictable act of bureaucratic contrition, the UCI announced an investigation into the incidents. This grand gesture was presumably meant to reassure us that future races would not descend into such farcical chaos, although the specifics of their “measures” remain tantalizingly vague.
Stage 3, initially neutralized after 17km of racing in the rain when riders encountered a car at a roundabout, saw the peloton confronted with the choice of continuing their Sisyphean struggle or retreating to the relative safety of their team buses. The discussions among rider representatives, race organizers, and UCI officials resulted in a decision to neutralize the race for the climb and descent of the Cols des Brousses. However, it seems that opinions were divided—two of the three rider representatives advocated for stopping the race, while many French riders, possibly driven by an innate Gallic stubbornness or a misplaced sense of chivalry, wanted to press on.
In the end, some riders opted to restart the stage, while others, perhaps channeling the wisdom of the ages, elected to call it a day and return to their buses. Thus concluded a chapter of the Etoile de Bessèges that will likely be remembered more for its absurdity than for any athletic prowess on display.
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