The 2026 Etape Loch Ness has sold out in record time, proving once again that British cyclists will gladly pay a premium to ride 66 miles in the freezing rain. But with over £2.6 million raised for Macmillan Cancer Support, it’s hard to be too cynical about Scotland’s biggest sportive.

Just in case staring at a red Garmin recovery score wasn’t depressing enough, Microsoft has built an AI chatbot to mansplain your sleep data to your doctor. Welcome to Copilot Health, the ultimate WebMD doom-scrolling engine for endurance athletes desperate to validate their overtraining syndrome.

For the last decade, the starting line of any respectable…