Cynisca Cycling in Hot Water After Mechanic Poses as Rider to Complete Race

In a plot twist straight out of a cycling-themed sitcom, the UCI has thrown down the gauntlet on Cynisca Cycling after they were caught red-handed in a race of wits, or should we say, races on wheels.

The American cycling team found themselves in hot water after attempting to outsmart officials at last year’s Argenta Classic in Belgium. Missing one vital rider due to illness, the team concocted a scheme so audacious it would make even the most seasoned Hollywood screenwriter blush.

Enter Moira Barrett, not your average wrench-wielding mechanic, but a daredevil in disguise. With a nod to the theatrics of Mission Impossible, Barrett slipped into racing attire faster than you can say “pedal power,” hoping to pass off as the fifth member of the team.

But alas, the cycling deities weren’t having it. The president of the commissaires’ panel, armed with a keen eye and a penchant for truth, saw through the ruse faster than you can say “doping scandal.” Barrett’s charade was unmasked faster than a cyclist on a caffeine high.

The mastermind behind this escapade, Cynisca Cycling’s sports director Danny van Haute, found himself in the hot seat of shame. The UCI’s disciplinary commission deemed him “the main perpetrator,” slapping him with a suspension that’ll have him pedaling in circles until December 2025.

And poor Barrett, caught in the crosshairs of cycling justice, found herself benched until September 2024. No longer listed as employees on Cynisca’s official website, one can only imagine the mechanic’s future endeavors—perhaps a stint in the theater with her newfound talent for role-playing.

As for the rest of the team—Anna Hicks, Cara O’Neil, Katherine Sarkisov, and Claire Windsor—they found themselves tangled in a web of deceit, reprimanded for their compliance in the grand scheme. It seems the road to victory took an unexpected detour through the land of tall tales.

But fear not, dear cycling enthusiasts, for Cynisca Cycling vows to pedal on, albeit with a slightly tarnished reputation. In a statement dripping with optimism, the team expressed their desire to put this debacle behind them and focus on their noble mission of advancing women in cycling—a goal that surely doesn’t involve swapping jerseys for wrenches.

As the dust settles on this two-wheeled saga, one thing’s for certain: when it comes to cycling, truth is indeed stranger than fiction. And as for Cynisca Cycling, well, let’s just say they’ve learned that in the race of life, honesty is the ultimate winner.