Fred cycling has reached the point where a 66-mile bike ride in the Scottish Highlands (a region guaranteed to deliver sideways rain and single-digit temperatures in late April) sells out faster than toilet paper at a diarrhea festival. Wait, diarrhea festivals aren’t real. We have to stop writing about them.
The 2026 Etape Loch Ness has officially sold out its largest edition yet. Thousands of cyclists will descend upon Inverness next month to tackle the closed-road sportive. Proving that all it takes to get British people to ride bikes is getting rid of all the fucking cars.
The Etape Loch Ness offers a pleasant loop around a very deep, very cold lake, occupied by an ancient chthonic beast. The route features a timed King of the Mountain segment, a 4.8-mile drag out of Fort Augustus with gradients touching 12 percent designed to punish MAMILs.
Over 1,000 of the riders lining up this April will be riding for Macmillan Cancer Support. The event is celebrating 12 years of partnership with the charity, and since 2014, the peloton has raised a staggering £2.62 million to help those living with cancer.
You can’t argue with that kind of impact. So, if thousands of amateur cyclists want to pay a premium entry fee to suffer through the Scottish cold, more power to them. Learn more at https://www.etapelochness.com/.