Author: Harold Dalton

Cycling industry professional with over 14 years of experience in professional journalism, television, and industry writing.

Wahoo Fitness and Zwift have, disappointingly, de-escalated the TRAINER WAR of 2022-2023, settling their contentious patent suit over the Zwift Hub out of court. We’ve watched Suits so we’re sure it was terribly exciting with Meghan Markle looking annoyed during the entire process. Wahoo originally claimed the Zwift Hub and the JetBlack Volt, both the same device, infringed Wahoo’s copyright. The company has now settled with both companies. No jackbooted stormtroopers are about to kick your door down and forcibly take your Zwift Hub.

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Report Sepp Kuss, the American powerhouse of Team Jumbo-Visma, unleashed a spectacular performance at the Vuelta a España. With relentless determination, he conquered the stage, emerging victorious in this grueling competition. Beaming with enthusiasm, Kuss expressed, “The Vuelta a España has always been an exceptional race for me. I felt super strong all day. It’s fantastic to finish like this after all the hard work of my teammates. It’s not often that I win a stage, but when it happens, it’s a great feeling.” Kuss credited his Dutch comrades for their strategic brilliance. Dylan van Baarle, Jan Tratnik, and Attila…

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When you get deep into specifics, you can be the only thing in the world. For example, we’re the only cycling website written by alcoholic serial masturbators. Uh, we mean, the only cycling website written entirely by alcoholic serial masturbators. Uh, well we’re going to have to get a lot more specific here, but you understand the general point we’re making. Team Novo Nordisk is the world’s only all-diabetes professional cycling team. Forget the serial masturbator chat from the previous paragraph: the only thing these guys are serially doing is checking their sweet blood sugar control on their Dexcoms. It’s…

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Get ready to enjoy some low-carb faintly-yellow liquid that, for somewhat tenuous reasons, is positioning itself as a wellness brand. Yes, Michelob Ultra is now the official title sponsor of all 2024 GFNY cycling races and marathons in the US. We’ve been told that Michelob Ultra is “the second fastest growing beer in the country that champions active enjoyment,” but we’re not sure if it’s the second fastest growing beer in the country AND it champions active enjoyment, or if it’s the second fastest growing beer out of the brands that champion active enjoyment. Honestly, we don’t even know what…

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