Dystopia News: Israel Start-Up Nation to Wear High-Tech Sonomasks at Le Tour

Israel Start-Up Nation is a team on the rise. They’ve signed Chris Froome and now they’re about to make their Tour de France debut. Which will be within the UCI’s “bubble protocol” because, you know, pandemic that’s going to kill us all.

In order to not die or kill anyone, Israel Start-Up Nation turned to Israeli innovation for help. Hey, it’s in their team name, right? The team will wear the the SonoMask by Sonovia at the Tour de France, which they’re saying is “the best high-tech anti-COVID-19 mask available.”

What makes SonoMask the most advanced mask around? Apparently it’s made from an anti-pathogen fabric unique to Sonovia, and it’s been scientifically proven to neutralize COVID-19. Melt it down and inject it, because we’ve found the cure. It’s reusable, washable, and provides two-sided protection, all of which, admittedly, are things we kind of expect from a face mask.

Israel Start-Up Nation riders will be wearing it in all of their races starting with the Tour de France. And presumably ending when the virus has been defeated, although they haven’t confirmed this and the ETA seems to be a long way off anyway.

“Our team will be wearing special COVID resistant Sonovia SonoMasks, developed by Israeli technology. This sponsorship is part of the collaboration ISN has with Start-Up Nation Central, which helps bring cutting edge Israeli products to the marketplace. Our lives are enhanced by world-leading Israeli innovation and exhibiting new ‘made in Israel’ technologies is part of ISN’s mission.”

Sylvan Adams, Israel Start-Up Nation team owner.

The mask is built for comfort, with a built-in adjustable noseband, adjustable ear loops/head straps, and ergonomic design. It also has ISN’s logo on it, of course.

“It only seems appropriate that we use these masks from a start-up company that is associated with our title sponsor. And of course, it is the best available – we expect nothing less!”

Guy Niv, who will become the first Israeli to participate in the Tour.

So there. Advanced face masks to prevent the entire peloton from dying of a global plague. When you saw Miguel Indurain’s monocoque Pinarello in 1996, you probably didn’t predict that this is where cutting-edge cycling technology would end up in 2020. But it has. We need a drink.