Hammerhead announces Karoo 2 cycling computer

Terrible cycling computer manufacturer Hammerhead has confirmed that it’s making a third attempt at building a functional head unit, following the disastrous Hammerhead One and bizarre Karoo.

Hammerhead’s devices are Fred-city, light on functionality that cyclists need and heavy on… well, on weight, in the case of the bafflingly enormous Karoo. Like, really heavy. They occupy a strange place in the market, largely purchased by elderly men who discovered cycling late in life and need a big screen, with a smattering of tech nerd city commuters too.

The Karoo 2 is apparently “a generational leap in bicycle computers, delivering an ever-evolving suite of ride-enhancing features,” but there’s no word from Hammerhead on what those features will be. And there’s not likely to be any word from them in this regard — it’s pretty much the same software claim they make every time before delivering a feature set that’s barely competitive with a $100 Lezyne alternative.

Thankfully, they haven’t forgotten their older customer base: “The Karoo 2 is designed to put your cycling experience first. It’s frustration-free and offers a seamless experience from pre-ride through post-ride, making it incredibly simple for cyclists to use workouts, ride routes, use third-party apps, and get all the insights they need.”

Hammerhead also says, “The new device will offer the same revolutionary Karoo experience, now with upgraded hardware to take your ride to the next level.” So basically, it has the same software as the Karoo. They lost interest in the “ever-evolving suite of ride-enhancing features” before they even finished writing the press release.

It’s a final roll of the die for Hammerhead, whose awful products have failed to make any headway with cyclists so far. Will this be strike three? And if it is, will they ever give up? Or will they just keep throwing their trust fund money at a sport and industry they don’t understand in hope of stealing 0.5% of Garmin’s market cap?