Peloton news isn’t something we normally share on Cyclry. Their home spinning bike and SaaS-based classes are cycling-adjacent nonsense for rich people who are too easy to part with their money. The closest we come to talking about it is when we occasionally get asked about it at gatherings by non-cyclists and have to diplomatically change the subject.
But it’s slightly relevant today. Its latest addition is a videogame called Lanebreak. It’s like Zwift, but shit. Shitter, we mean.
You ride your bike to control an on-screen wheel. You change your effort and cadence to meet goals. There’s a difficulty setting and music selection. So far, sounds worse than just emulating Outrun. Unlike Outrun, but like every other game ever released, you can collect things to earn points. Does all that sound fun? If you answered ‘yes,’ please re-read this paragraph and the words in it.
You need to own a Peloton bike and subscribe to their service in order to play. It’s like if the PlayStation 5 was three times more expensive, cost $30 extra a month, and only had a single game. A single shitty game.
Did you buy a Peloton bike to join instructor-led spinning classes, and then find that you just used it to dump your dirty clothes on? You’re not alone. Would you throw the clothes on the floor and get right back to your fitness if it included some piece of shit garbage game? Maybe, for ten minutes. But hey, that’s another $30 for the company that makes home fitness equipment that kills toddlers.
Lanebreak is currently in beta, so it’s only available to certain users. With any luck, you’ll never have to play it.