Just do it, peasant.
It’s pure. Rip it open and squirt it into your mouth. It’s the consistency of semen and the flavor of nothing. It’s what you’ve been pining for.
The longer you ride, the less you want anything sweet. You begin to desire a colorless, flavorless gel from an off-white sachet. You will overcome “one of endurance sport’s most overlooked barriers: flavour fatigue.”
Squirt the mucus-like fluid into your mouth, citizen.
This is, as far as we can tell, a real product by Puresport. They shared it on March 31, so we saw it on the same day that we received an inbox full of things like pickle juice perfume for April Fools. But they do appear to be pitching something that “strips fuelling back to its essentials; clear in colour, neutral in taste.”
“What tastes fine early on can quickly become overwhelming, leading to missed fuelling and, ultimately, a drop in performance. […] By removing flavour entirely, Puresport eliminates the variable; no sweetness to reject, no flavour to fatigue, supporting a consistent and effective fuelling strategy from start to finish.”
The new gel will be available along with Puresport’s original orange and berry flavours, and delivers 30g of carbohydrate per serving.
The gels category has become so overcomplicated. Runners are faced with too many choices, too much noise, and often conflicting advice. Our goal from the very beginning has been to simplify things, and to ensure that runners are not overwhelmed by all the information out there. With the unflavoured gel, we’re taking that even further – removing absolutely anything that doesn’t need to be there – in this case, the flavour too. It might sound simple in principle, but when you’re deep into a session, the impact is huge!
Dan Temm, CEO of Puresport
Okay, we think this is an April Fools. But our backspace key is broken so we have to keep moving forward.
Key Product Details
- 30g DualCarb™ formula (maltodextrin + fructose, 1:0.8 ratio)
- No added flavouring or artificial ingredients
- Clear in colour, neutral in taste
- Vegan and gluten-free
- Informed Sport certified
The Puresport Unflavoured Energy Gel launched on Tuesday 31st March, priced at £5 (2 pack), £14 (6 pack) and £24 (12 pack)