Rally Renews Partnership with Whatever the Fuck This Is

Rally Cycling’s partnership with Normatec has been unaffected by the latter’s acquisition by Hyperice. And look, these sound like made-up companies, but check the image below to see that it’s a very real product.

Um.

Two giant legs? Mermaid costume? Looks kind of like a pipe too. OK, we’re stumped. Let’s check with Rally Cycling’s Performance Director Jonas Carney for clues.

“The importance of recovery cannot be understated. With our athletes competing around the world while constantly traveling and transferring between hotels, ideal recovery is hard to achieve. With Hyperice as a partner, all 28 of our athletes have access to incredible products that will help them maximize their recovery between events.”

So it’s something to do with recovery. Climb on into the big black bag and possibly connect it to one of the hundreds of devices in your room. Just do it. Recovery is a key component in bike racing success, so fucking climb into the inflatable trash bag and switch it on.

Krista Doebel-Hickok explains, “I’ve been using Normatec legs for so long that I can’t remember when I had my first session. I use it as a recovery flush—very similar to massage. I’m pretty sure I’ve not missed a day since they arrived.”

“I do 40 minutes on my legs and then 15 min on my hips. I also use Hyperice’s Venom on my back. After all that, I use the Hypervolt to finish working out any extra tight muscles. All that is part of my post-training recovery protocol. Once or twice daily, I also do a stretching routine which for over a decade has included foam rollers and trigger point balls. Now, instead of the basic ones, I use the Hypersphere and Vyper 2.0.”

Sounds… good. Please go out and buy whatever all this stuff is, since they’re supporting a cycling team. Then email us to tell us what the fuck it does.