Cyclry

Cycling news and humor from industry veterans

Trapped Inn is a Horror Movie About a Pro Cycling Team

Yes, really. It’s real and it has a website, albeit one that uses the default WordPress favicon. Before we dive into insulting it, let’s watch the trailer together.

Looks alright really. About as good as any of these horror films, anyway. And we’ll obviously watch it because it’s about a cycling team.

The premise is that an American cycling team heads to Europe for a training camp, staying in a historic lodge in which a different cycling team went missing back in 1975.

Men on bikes. They have to include this to get the dads and dentists to watch it.

So far, that just sounds like how we spent our winters for several years as cycling journalists. The HTC High Road team were particularly good as having us believe they’d completely gone missing from hotels in Mallorca.

Anyway, they get trapped in the lodge. Trapped how? We don’t know. Ghost? Man with axe? What we do know is that members of the team begin mysteriously dying. Again, pretty realistic so far, happened a lot in the EPO era.

Just some guy. Probably supposed to be deranged, but just looks like us at 7pm on Wednesday.

Amidst the death, destruction, and terrifying mist that makes up the normalcy of a training camp, two of the teammates try to uncover what’s killing everyone.

Because they’re American, they’re called Connor and Greg. Not a Wouter in sight. Oh yeah, and they’re rivals. That’s going to make their fight for survival somewhat more complicated.

Guy who’s only ever watched casting couch porn: “I’m getting strong casting couch vibes from this screenshot.”

Even more complicatedly, Connor begins developing feelings for Greg’s girlfriend, Andrea. Whomst among us has not tried to bang someone else’s girlfriend while being trapped in a killer AirBnB? This love triangle adds confusion, fear, tension, and the possibility of an MMF threesome in which all participants have shaved legs.

The Scariest Part of the Trailer

This turbo trainer scene is the most terrifying. Don’t make us get on the turbo this winter 🙁

Release Date

Don’t know. Don’t know when, don’t know where. But we’re hoping that they find this coverage and get us some kind of advance screening.

Your wife when she sees how much you spent on Di2.