Author: Harold Dalton

Boring bike race winner turned boring bike race loser Chris Froome is no stranger to partnering with brands of questionable quality as he seeks to top up his pension fund. His latest venture is so fucking stupid that you’ve already read other websites taking the piss out of it. We spotted them muscling in our action. But it’s fair. Introducing New York’s Hottest Fashion Brand: Hanes Bulky T This time he’s partnered with a company that sounds like a made-up luxury brand from a Grand Theft Auto knockoff. British London, or whatever it’s called, sells overpriced fashion items out of…

Not sure how to feel about this one. Looks like an awesome platform and challenge, but all their pre-release media stuff involved riding with Floyd Landis as a sponsor of the challenge. It just feels like a betrayal to our past selves if we’re promoting something to do with Floyd Landis after all the horrible things we’ve written about him. So, reluctantly: Race Republic has officially launched its indoor training and event platform, taking participants on a photo-realistic journey up Mt. Everest. As a way of doing an Everesting, it doesn’t get much better than that. “Everesting” has become a…

We missed this news coming through to our inbox because it got buried under a pile of bizarre offers to review carbon wheelsets for a $300 discount. Which is a shame, because Stephen Hyde is a rider we’ve long admired. He began racing cyclocross in 2012, winning three U.S. National Titles and two Pan-American Continental Championships during his professional cycling career. Now he’s retiring. We’re sure we’ll still see him around the local cyclocross scene anyway. Stephen, we’ll buy you an $8 Notch if we ever bump into you at a beer tent. Here’s what he says: “I have given…

Davide Rebellin is still racing, and will continue to do so until the end of the season, when he’ll finally retire aged 51. You may remember Rebellin from such mid-2000s controversies as being stripped of his Olympics silver medal, and pretending to be an Argentinian to get a ride at the Worlds when he didn’t make the Italian squad. You may also not remember those things, because they were at least 14 years ago. You may not have even been born then (and if not, here are some words you’ll enjoy: Fortnite, Among Us). It hasn’t all been bad for…

It is profoundly lazy when people make jokes about Alejandro Valverde’s age, which is little more than a catchphrase for the most boring and humorless among cycling’s fans. So, Alejandro Valverde has taken his and Movistar’s first victory of the season at the Challenge Vuelta Ciclista a Mallorca. The race has been a staple of European cycling since its inaugural edition in 1992, which Valverde raced when he was just 62. Fuck, we did the joke again. It’s his 131st career victory. One for every year of his life. Fuck, fuck. Fine, here’s your race report It was the best…

Okay, maybe not all our favorites. Many of those retired in the 1990s. But there were some very popular winners over at the Worlds, and some great names on the podium. Zoe Backstedt wins Junior Women UCI cyclo-cross world title We’ve been fans of the Backstedt sisters for a long time, and they just keep getting better. Zoe has been winning everything she enters for years now. Crazy talent! Women’s U23s 1Puck Pieterse (Netherlands)0:46:272Shirin Van Anrooij (Netherlands)3Fem Van Empel (Netherlands)0:00:12 A Dutch one-two-three. Loads of Yanks making up the last few places. All things are as they should be. Marianne…

It’s been a long week since we went and cruised backstage at the Australian Road Nats. We’re tired. So tired we can’t think up rude captions for all these images to get us in trouble a couple of years later. So today we’re going to be nice about people. You can think of your own rude captions in your mind, using your imagination. Especially you, Robbie McEwen, you can think all kinds of horrible things about the women in the photos, then cry when you get in trouble for saying them out loud. Formal Review of the Aussie Road Nats:…

Garmin (and its conjoined twin, Tacx) has announced its major 2022 sponsorships. If you’re at all vaguely aware of the sport–and why would you be, you’re only reading a site called Cyclry–you can probably predict that the list includes almost anybody that matters. Wahoo gets the rest. Then the hundred or so of shitty competitors fight for whatever professional athletes remain in the dust and pubes on the bathroom floor. Garmin’s list for 2022 includes more than 15 professional cycling teams and hundreds of professional runners, cyclists and triathletes, and Garmin tells us that they have all “chosen the robust…