Author: Harold Dalton

Thomas De Gendt is the only man left standing! He famously (?) gave up sausages (??) to improve his chances of victory (???) early in his career, so we’re excited to see him on the cusp of a historic victory.

“Which Vuelta Champion Am I?” It’s the question that plagued Kierkegaard through The Sickness Unto Death, it’s the question that prompted Lacan to devise his objet petit a, and it is the eternal différance to which Derrida, sick with deferred answers to this elusive question, alluded. Well, we’ve solved it for all those dead guys.

Part One: Introduction. Modern illicit performance-enhancing techniques serve to reify the idea of a “natural” body.

Back in the mid-2000s, you couldn’t throw an insulated motorcycle pannier bag over the French border without hitting a cycling team eager to be embroiled in a Cronenbergesque body-horror scandal.

Welcome to SUPER GRAND TOUR. This data was compiled by Kris Tilford and shared by the dumbasses on rec.bicycles.racing. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it done before as a concept, probably from some other dumbass on rec.bicycles.racing. It’s a lot of fun though.

David Duffield was the butt of many jokes on Derailed. This was, largely, because he was such a big part of my teenage years. I “got” cycling, and it was hugely frustrating to endure the ramblings of a commentator who just seemed to know less about the sport than me… or anybody.

The Tour de France is all over, and we all know the official winners (hotels on the course) and losers (any fans that waited 5 hours to see the race just to have a Belgian rider they’d never heard of roll past pissing in the gutter in front of them with his knob out).

In which Phil expresses his gratitude for the sun’s harmful rays. … Continue reading